There was a time when I found it incredibly hard to say goodbye.

2022 was not an easy year for us. Within a short space of time, we had to say goodbye to several of our llamas. Each and every one of them had its own character, its own story and a very special place in my heart. And it hurt every single time. Not just because I missed the animals, but also because death has always made me feel sad and helpless.

It was also during this time that our dog, Balu, died.

My dream

One night I had a dream. I was sitting on a train, travelling through the countryside. Suddenly, Balu, our dog, was running alongside the train. It seemed perfectly natural, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Something inside me knew straight away: he wanted to show me something.

I got off at the next stop. Our dog was already waiting for me and led me into a wood. It was a beautiful place. The trees were a lush green, the light was warm and everything felt peaceful. And there, amongst the trees, they were standing.

Our four llamas

They were munching on leaves, looking happy and perfectly healthy. No pain, no illness, no tiredness. Just llamas doing what llamas love to do best.

I was able to go to each and every one of them. I was able to hug them and say goodbye to each one. Not in a hurry, not in despair, but with love and gratitude. For every moment we shared. For every curious glance. For every walk. For all the memories, big and small.

When I woke up, something was different.

Ever since that dream, I’ve known where our llamas are going.

The village

Of course, I don’t know whether this place really exists. Perhaps it was just a dream. But for me, it was more than that. It gave me peace. It showed me that love does not end with one’s last breath, and that letting go does not mean forgetting.

Since then, death hasn’t been such a burden for me.

I know that our animals enjoy their lives with us. I know that we are able to give them a lovely home. And I also know that sometimes it’s part of life to let them go. Life in this world is finite. There are illnesses, there is suffering, and sometimes the time comes when, out of love, we have to say goodbye.

Then I picture this forest.

I can see the green trees, the peaceful silence and our llamas, contentedly munching on leaves. Healthy, free and happy.

And this thought helps me. Not just with our llamas. But also with cats, dogs and all the other animals that accompany us throughout our lives and eventually leave us again.

Perhaps there is a country somewhere where the llamas go.

And perhaps all the animals we have loved are waiting there.

Until we meet again one day.